BC - Man Day

I was welcomed to the mess tent this morning by an entourage of chest beating, ape-like armpit scratching and the distinct scent of testosterone…. As soon as the boys entered the mess tent they were asked whether they liked ‘cats or dogs’ and whether they preferred ‘Forrest Gump’ to ‘Spartacus’…. depending on their answers some were relegated to the adjacent tent. I prepared for the worst as I poured myself an extra-strong cup of coffee. I was informed by my 16 testosterone fuelled team mates that today is ‘Man Day’, a day dedicated to all things ‘Man’.

I can’t quite wrap my female, oestrogen-fuelled head around how today will differ from any other day with the boys given that most conversations ultimately revolve around ‘all things man’ - in the most primitive state - farting, toilets, boobs, sex, the scratching of nether-regions, guns, facial hair and of course summit day (only a Man can somehow weave all of the above into a single conversation).

The ritual adopted by the boys during todays meals is a combination of chest beating and grunting loudly as food is served. I’ve been assured that even today’s meals will be a testament to their manliness after several team members were openly ridiculed this morning for declining porridge which is, apparently, a manly breakfast. With Sherpa-stew on the menu for lunch, I am expecting a whole sheep or some other raw meat for dinner this evening, washed down with our very manly (ah-hem) 3% Budweiser beer.

As I lie here in my tent and eat a bag of chocolate covered raisins (am very glad these aren’t considered manly so I can enjoy them on my own) I can hear ’Man Day’ events unfolding… A war movie is blasting from one of the mess tents as a cacophony of bombs, helicopters, guns, air raid sirens and 400 horsepower engines wafts over the camp. I can hear Max grunting loudly as he collects boulders for the patio he’s building around his tent (are patio's manly??). And another team member (who shall remain nameless) bragging that there was no toilet paper in the toilet tent so he wiped his backside with a rock… which he then placed in Max’s patio… a series of ‘Beavis and Butthead’ style laughter ensues. The shower tent is particularly quiet today as showering and washing in general has been banned as it isn’t considered manly (particularly if scented soap is involved)….

I feel slightly guilty to be privy to this assertiveness of testosterone because I was originally due to head up to interim camp today leaving the boys to revel in their ‘sausage fest’. Unfortunately however I fell asleep last night realising I had the onset of tonsillitis and today would be best spent at Basecamp. Nursing it with a healthy dose of penicillin and chocolate raisins.

Had I been more prepared to be part of Man Day I would have worn every pink garment of clothing that I own, ensured “Sixteen Candles” or “Driving Miss Daisy” was cued on the dvd player, and done my nails in the mess tent wile flipping through the May edition of Vogue or Glamour. And eating pink-iced ‘fondant fancies’ from the luxury barrel.

I joke and do admit that I have my good days and bad days’ (eg. When I lose my appetite at dinner because the mess tent turns into a gas chamber) but on the whole, the boys, (16 plus about 12 sherpas and kitchen staff) have been great. It’s probably sacrilegious to say this on “Man Day” but behind their chest beating, manly, bearded exteriors, the are genuinely great characters and lovely people. Sometimes, I feel as though I’ve inherited 16 temporary brothers as they tease me but, at the same time, always seem to look out for me.

Josh was joking around this morning about how uncomplicated men are and how “Man Day” is a celebration of this and, upon reflection, I’m inclined to agree. Had the numbers been revered, eg. A team of 16 women and one man the ‘mood’ and ‘morale’ in the camp would be very different, particularly as we’ve spent the past 7-10 days stuck in a Groundhog Day scenario waiting for the weather window to open.

This morning the mountain was free of spindrift for the first time since our collective journeys began and the breeze blowing through base camp today feels light and warm. An indication that our wait is nearly over.

Tomorrow I head up to Interim Camp as my ‘assault’ on Everest begins. I’m nervous about the events and emotions which will take place over the week ahead and hope, more than anything, that everyone returns safe and sound having reached their own personal goals and aspirations. More than anything, I look forward to a celebration back in Kathmandu where I can be surrounded by my testosterone-fuelled team mates and raise a glass to our combined successes.

Highlights of the Man Day Quiz

(by Josh and Keith)

MUSIC

1.  What is the band "10CC" named after

2. Who sings the song, "Dude dressed like a lady?"

3.  2007 Rugby World Cup - England team unofficial song

4.  Who are the 4 original members of Guns n'Roses?

WAR
1. Who made Spitfire engines?
2.  Name of Argentinian ship sunk in Falklands war?
3.  Only VC during Iraq conflict?
4.  Who is the inventor ofthe AK47?
5.  Who is the allied commander for the D-day landings?

SPORT
1. Argentinian (18-year old) to knock outk Paul Ackford?
2.  Location of the "Rumble in the Jungle"

3.  NFL player nicknamed, "The Fridge"

4.  Most 'Worlds Strongest Man' titles?

5.  Current UFC heavyweight champion

MOTOR

1. Home of Lambourghini

2.  What Jaguar car was the longest in production

3.  What color car did 'Face' from the A-Team drive?

4.  What spacecraft did Luke Skywalker destroy the Deathstar in?

GENERAL
1. What is in a 'Turbo Shandy?"
2.  Which Rocky Movie did Mickey die in?
3.  Name all of Rocky's opponents
4.  What marshall art did Bruce Lee invent?
5.  Sandra Romain - country of orgin, 4-awards in 2007....