My journey to the Brecon Beacons began with two significant turning points:
(Turning Point 1): An email received at precisely 11:00hrs on Thursday, 13 November with the following agenda:
1. Depart at 0610
2. Pit stop/pick up at Reading services at 0700.
3. Arrive at car park of the story arms youth hostel at 0915.
4. Quick bacon buttie/cup of tea/ sort out kit etc- get under way at 0930- or as near as pos.
5. Return to car- approx 1600.
6. Quick bite to eat/brew/pint and drive back. 1630 ish
7. Drop off approx 1900.
8. Return for 2000.
Clearly I was not in for a leisurely mid-morning amble through the English countryside..!
(Turning Point 2): To make matters worse the weekend forecast for Brecon (and all of Wales for that matter!) said something to the effect of "If you are mad enough to head outside make sure you prepare yourself for 80 mph winds and horizontal rain'. I quickly checked the BBC forecast... Even a non-geographer will quickly realise that phrases such as 'severe gales'; 'guaranteed rain'; '80mph gale-force winds'; 'hail'; 'fog' aren't signs which prompt digging around for an SPF 40.
Fantastic. Anyone who knows me knows how much I absolutely adore the rain. Ah hem.....
So, on an impromptu lunch-hour break (one of the first I've taken in my time at PwC!) I hobbled over London Bridge to Snow and Rock in my 4-inch heels and stylish Burberry trench (tied in that fashionable knot), on a mission of finding the most effective (and of course stylish) all weather Gore-tex that I could get my manicured hands on. Shifting through the racks and racks and racks of beautifully designed, all-weather gear and feeling the heart palipitations coming on, I realised that I was going to have to invest heavily if I was going to meet my criteria of (1) staying fashionable (2) staying dry (3) maintaining my composure under difficult (weather) conditions.
I must have looked lost and rather helpless fumbling with the gore-tex as a young Australian shop assistant came over and asked if I needed any help. I shared with her my predicament - hike this weekend... Brecon Beacons... gale force winds.... She asked me my size (a sensitive subject at the moment!!!) and had an interesting way of 'managing expectations'....
"Well, if you ignore the color..... and, um... er... appreciate that you can always use this as a layer then, well, this coat might be an option.... but seriously, don't let the color put you off..."
As she said that she moved away from the very neutral, conservative, 'hard core' colors (eg. stylish slimming blacks, flattering blues, humble greens) and over to the 'ladies' clothing rails and pulled out the loudest, brightest, raspberry 'I Am Woman Hear Me Roar' Gore-tex jacket that has ever hit ladies fashion.
My initial thought was, "It's hideous... I don't want to look like a piece of over ripe summer fruit..!! My jacket is the color of raspberry compot..!"
Upon hearing that it had been reduced by 100 GBP, my Dutch heritage kicked in and I was overwhelmed with the desire to try the jacket on. And, in spite of being 2 sizes too big and looking very much like a raspberry, with a proper investment in some additional fleece, a neck scarf and the right accessories it might just fit...
Sold!
The next fashion faux pas occured when I moved on to 'waterproof pants'. For those non-Brits who fall into the same category of 'Queens English Ignorance' as myself you may not immediately realise the gravitas of my linguistic error... When I saw the confused look of the sales-girls face (happy she finally got rid of the big fruity jacket) I remembered that 'pants' (even when referred to with the all important 'waterproof qualifier') basically means 'underwear'.
Everest will certainly be an intimidating experience however if I am already investing in waterproof underwear - effectively a pamper - for a hike in the Brecon Beacons at this stage of the game then I certainly have more things to worry about than the color of my jacket.............
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